On the Road After Dusk
by HBKDEANRKO
Summary: Sequel to On the Beach After Midnight. Dean's life takes a drastic turn with Beau. Can Sam pull him back from the edge? Bad language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

I really was not planning a sequel to On the Beach After Midnight but I got a lot of requests to please continue the story, so here it goes.

Disclaimer: I make no profit from playing with the Winchester's.

ON THE ROAD AFTER DUSK

It has been nearly a year since Isabeau joined Sam and me on the hunt. Well I don't let her hunt but she helps with the research and she keeps us as healthy as she can. I really was afraid at first that she would get tired of being on the road and bail but she seems to enjoy it and I love having her with me. Having a warm body to hold onto at night sure makes a difference on how well you sleep, especially on cold nights.

It took some getting used to having Sam sleep in another room alone but Sammy has not spent all his nights alone although he has yet to find the one that he wants with him twenty four seven.

I can't imagine not having Beau with me, it's like she has always been there and it's good, man it's good.

Even though I don't let her hunt I have still taught her how to use the guns and other weapons just in case we are ever attacked unexpectedly and she's a fast learner.

Doesn't hurt that she looks fucking hot holding my sawed off shotgun. It took at least five tries before I could show her how to use it without jumping her bones.

Trust me we have left our mark all over the country.

Right now we are in Texas hunting a deadly vampire nest that had left way too many dead its wake. I can tell that Beau is scared because we are a little outnumbered so I cave and call in a couple of recruits.

Sam and I have come back to her in some unbelievable conditions but she patiently patches us up and always asks how many people we saved this time. That's what seems to ground her that we're not doing this for nothing that we are saving lives.

We have to wait a couple of days before Jace and Evan arrive so we handle all the research part until we have the location of the nest pinned.

Well I let Sam do the research while I find new ways to kiss up every inch of Beau's body.

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I am really happy that Dean has Beau although sometimes he can be annoyingly cheerful but it's always better than those nights when he would just drink and stare at the wall mourning what he would never have. Now he has some hope and his eyes sparkle again.

He makes me laugh because sometimes he sounds like a mom when he asks me when I'm going to settle down and give him nieces and nephews.

I asked him once when he was going to make me an uncle and he nearly choked on air. I reminded him that he was the one in the better situation and he just looked at me wide eyed and never answered.

I have no idea what the hell was up with that and I didn't push it with my brother when he wants to talk he talks.

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The time has gone by faster than I thought possible and I have enjoyed the traveling because Dean goes out of his way to make sure that we get to any sights that are worth seeing when we are near them.

It took some getting used to staying in motels all the time and Sam asked Dean why they didn't squat anymore and Dean had said that I had my needs. Whatever that meant I didn't ask, pretty sure I didn't want to know.

The hardest part has been when they go out on a hunt, Dean always gives me a time to expect them back and if they go past that time he calls me or texts me and he told me that if the times goes by and I don't hear from them at all I have to wait two hours then try to call them if I get no response then I have to call Bobby, so far they have only gone past the time once and when I called Dean had answered and I could tell that he was hurt badly. I had actually had to argue with him to let me go pick them up since the monster was dead they just couldn't drive.

It was the worst injuries that I had ever had to patch up on them and I wanted to cry as they just sat their barely flinching, no one should have to be used to that kind of pain. I wanted to cry but I kept it together asking them how many people they had saved so that I could make myself believe that this pain was worth something. No one wants to see the man they love hurting like that. Dean had gotten the worst of it and I made sure he rested to get better none of this 'I'm fine or I'm peachy' BS.

If I had to deal with him being hurt then he had to deal with me taking care of him until he was better. That one hunt stayed with me and I think what if one day he never calls and he never answers and Bobby is too far away to help me? I have to hide that fear and sometimes it's not easy. What ifs can be such a bitch.

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Jace and Evan arrive the next day but since vampires sleep during the day we decide to wait for the following day.

I see Jace staring at Beau and I glare at him.

He pulls me aside. "I'm not eyeing your girl like that Dean, it's just that what the hell are you thinking bringing her into this life."

"This life brought her to me." I defend and tell the story of how Dean met Beau. "She wants to be here."

"No she wants to be with you." Jace says shaking his head. "I know how lonely this life gets dude but this is no life for a woman that is not a hunter."

I don't have an answer and it pisses me off.

Later that night as we lay in bed I can't get those words out of my head. "Beau if you didn't want to be here you would tell me right?"

"I want to be where ever you are." She replies and I feel the stab in my chest what the hell have I done?

She rolls over and begins to kiss me hungrily and I respond God I will always respond to those lips and those hips I may deranged but even I'm not crazy.

Now I roll onto her kissing her everywhere taking my time to drive her to the edge before I slowly push inside of her and the moan she releases makes me groan my own pleasure. Such small sounds but such big impacts.

Tomorrow brings a dangerous hunt and I know that she's trying not to think about it so I have to help her forget so I do fucking her senseless into the matress leaving her boneless with one release after another.

She falls asleep instantly after I fill her with my over the top climax that makes me shake so hard I have to grind my teeth and close my eyes to ride it out. God the things she does to me.

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I don't know how to feel that Dean is going out of his way to make me forget tomorrow, not that I mind what he's doing to my body because if anyone knows how to please me to the absolute limit it's my Dean.

He's the most incredible lover and anyone that could get tired of that needs to be examined in the head.

Just when I think I can't take anymore he finds the most delicious ways to arouse me again and again until I can't even move let alone open my eyes, sated doesn't even begin to describe the afterglow.

Of course he smiles like he's the king of the world and he is the king of my world anyway.

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I watch my brother watching Beau who is jittery as hell, she usually is right before we leave for a hunt but there is something different and I can't quite place it.

We all eat breakfast together and then we hit the road and Dean gives Beau reassuring words and a long kiss see you later.

I felt my gut twist and I don't listen, I never listen too many lives at stake to listen.

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It's never easy to leave Beau behind because she could easily be attacked while I'm gone but she knows what to do.

We head out and I notice that Sam seems to be more jittery than usual.

"You ok Sammy?"

"Fine dude just wish it was over already." He replies in a huff.

"It will be soon." I say easily even as my gut twists and I think ah hell now what?

Reaching the area near the nest we park our cars at least a mile away already covered in the stinky crap that keeps vampires from smelling us. We move forward slowly with all the things we need.

We manage to get into the abandoned ranch house and before we know it we have killed at least ten vamps and then that gut twisting thing comes to life and with screams in my ears everything fades to black.

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I slowly come around and I remember where we are and I try to sit up but the room spins. I am in a cell and as my eyes adjust I notice that Sam is sitting in another cell across from me. His eyes are wide as he stares at the cell next to mine and I have no idea what's going on until he looks at me.

"They turned Jace." He murmurs. "They locked him up with Evan."

"Fuck." I say then I see the small window behind Sam and it's dark.

"How long was I out Sam?"

"Ten hours."

"Fuck." I say again because I am now six hours past the time that I was supposed to be back with Beau and she is going ape shit. I instinctively reach for my phone but it's gone along with all the weapons that I had, ok so first things first.

"Jace you have to fight it man you can't feed."

"It hurts so much."

"I know dude I know trust I've been there but if you feed we can't turn you back."

"I can't hurt my brother." Jace defends.

He last exactly two hours before he attacks Evan and it's a sound that I will never forget as long as I live and it's not looking like that's going to be very long at the moment.

How in the hell did things go so wrong?

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Dean and I have survived some pretty whacked out shit. I can't exactly block it out even though I try my damnedest to just keep my eyes on Dean and I can't help but wonder if I could turn on him that easily.

'You have before.' A little voice says in my head and suddenly I'm scared very scared and the door at the end of the hall opens a very strange but powerful looking vamp strides in and looks at Jace as he stares at his now dead brother and without a second thought he opens the door and beheads Jace with a laugh of glee.

"Nothing like watching family turn." The vamp sighs.

He steps to my cell and glances at me then Dean. "I wonder how long you two will last which of you I should turn." He strides to Dean's cell and sniffs the air and licks his lips. Dean is still bleeding from the gash in his head.

"I guess we'll play that game tomorrow right now I want a little snack that is if I can stop feeding on that fine wine blood of yours Winchester." He is in the cell with Dean and I am suddenly standing screaming for it to leave him alone and I watch as Dean scrambles until he has nowhere to go.

The sound my brother makes when the vampire sinks its fangs into his neck drives right into my soul and Dean fights like a wildcat and I scream like one.

With the deepest anguish I fall to my knees reaching for him as his struggles less and less and my heart breaks as he reaches for me and he mouths that he's sorry and his eyes falter closed and the only sound is the screaming of my brother's name.

TBC

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	2. HOLDING ON TO LETTING GO

HOLDING ON TO LETTING GO

I pace, bite my nails, cry and then get pissed at myself. I have to be tougher than this to be Dean's girlfriend.

The time for them to be back had come and gone. I barely let the two hour mark come before I'm dialing, relief filling me when the call connects only to be replaced with my heart seizing when a low ugly voice answers.

"Dean Winchester can't come to the phone….ever again." Wicked awful laughter chills me and then dead air.

A full on panic attack is averted only because of my nurse training and reminding myself that I am Dean's girlfriend.

I call Bobby trying not to be hysterical and he did his best to be calm when I tell him the situation. They say to read between the lines well that includes listening between the words Bobby is worried and eight hours out. I don't have eight fucking hours.

The clock seems to mock me. I think about all the plans Dean and Sam had made with the other hunters. I know where the nest is, I know how to hot wire a car, and I know Dean is going to kill me but if he is already dead then I don't care if I die trying too.

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I hate that Sam has to watch me die…..again, we have been through so much in our short lives

I feel my life's blood slipping away as the vampire feeds on me and the bastard is taking pleasure in hearing my brother scream for me, it is just another thing that is killing me.

It stops feeding right at the point that anyone else would die but I'm too fucking stubborn. Death just might be better though because I knew that this fang is planning to turn me and enjoy watching me struggle to not kill my brother.

Barely conscious I see the vamp walk out of my cell and head to Sam. 'Please don't.' I think. The door begins to open to the cell and then the vamp is staring at its chest in shock an arrow protruding. A machete slides toward Sam and the vamp is headless in the next moment.

Darkness closes in and I hear Sam say Beau's name and I know loving her has destroyed her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I find the Impala and then the house and I can't believe that I just beheaded two vamps hell Dean trained me well. I hear Sam screaming Dean's name and something in me snaps and then I see him barely alive.

Pure natural instinct I have the bastard vampire in my sights and I fire the crossbow sliding Sam the machete and he finishes the job.

Sam calls to me staring at me in disbelief because I seem to be channeling fucking Xena. Amazing the strength that you find when someone that you love is dying.

I am next to Dean checking his pulse; he's barely there pale and cold.

Sam has him in his arms in the next breath.

"We have to move it now Beau." He hisses and motions with his head.

I don't even give it a second thought as I lead the way out to take out anything that gets in the way. Seeing Jace and Evan dead makes me stumble just thinking how easily it could have been Dean and Sam.

We make it to the cars and we are off in the Impala.

Dean lies shivering on my lap but he's alive. I begin to cry silently I just don't know how much more of this I can handle. Loving Dean is destroying me.

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Dean nearly died I should be used to that but you never get used to that no matter how fucking tough you think you are.

I knew how pissed he's going to be that Beau put herself in danger even though she saved our lives. He never wanted her to be involved even though she was no matter what. He had to have known that or he wouldn't have trained her the way that he did and train her well he did. She was fucking channeling Xena and he should be proud but I knew my brother and it wasn't going to be pretty when he blew his fuse but first we had to get him back on his feet.

Back at the motel I carry Dean inside while Beau hurriedly gets him cleaned up and warm. Without saying a word she pulls out what she will need for a transfusion so I clean up quickly and lay next to Dean and the procedure is on, he slowly began to get his color back but he had lost so much blood there is no way I can give it all to him and I can't help but notice that Beau cries silently the entire time.

She tells to me to keep an eye Dean and leaves for about an hour and she returns with supplies that she will need to help us all and somehow a few pints of blood stored up in a container and all. I don't ask, she is a woman with a purpose and being Dean's girlfriend is hard enough without adding me being too nosy.

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How in the hell is life normal when you have to perform blood transfusions in a no tell motel? When did it become part of life to steal blood to save my boyfriend's life and do it with ease and purpose? How can I love this man so much when he seems determined to die?

That is the biggest problem that I love him so damn much I literally can't breathe when he's hurt and the thought of being without him makes me die inside. So what am I supposed to do the day Dean doesn't come home and I can't find him? What the fuck life am I living just to be with the man that I love who willingly puts his life on the line ten times a day?

The tears keep falling and I can't seem to stop them so I let them fall the whole time I take care of Dean and I know that Sam sees me but I don't really care. Sam can't tell me that he hasn't done his share of tear spilling sitting in a fucking motel room wondering if his beloved brother is going to live or die. I can't help but numbly wonder how many oceans Sam and I have filled.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I get us to another state just in case so that Dean's has time to recover, he has most of his color back but he's still so cold and weak. When he does manage to keep his eyes open longer than two minutes I see what I don't want to see and how things are not going to end well.

"She saved our lives Dean." I tell him but he closes his eyes and I can almost hear the clink of the brick wall going up. Dean will never be the same without Beau and I know that's what he's thinking that he would rather lose her to life and let her heartbreak heal rather than lose her to death and blame himself for eternity. I knew what was coming with just that glimpse into my brother's soulful eyes and I almost wish that we had left Beau behind all the months ago.

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I should be used to feeling like shit since seventy five percent of my life has involved pain but it's not just the vampire attack that has me feeling like crap it's also the fact that Beau put herself on the line to save me and Sam. I should be proud I know that she came off like fucking Xena but instead I'm terrified. Now since she did this will she always go off halfcocked thinking that she can handle anything and get herself killed or will she be regular Beau. I love her so much and if I lost her because she died trying to save me I wouldn't be able to handle it.

I see the looks Sam's gives me when I bother to open my eyes for just a couple of minutes and I don't want to deal with that so I close my eyes waiting for my strength to come back.

It takes me nearly four days to even be able to sit up and sip soup and even that wears the hell out of me. Beau takes amazing care of me as always but I see the tears in her eyes that have become a constant in the last few days.

When I'm up and about I won't look her in the eye we barely talk and Sam begins to lecture me but I put my hand up and that's all. He knows me well enough not to push it.

Sam leaves us alone and Beau finally snaps. "Just fucking yell at me already! Give me the damn lecture about how I could have died don't just ignore me Dean, I'm not sorry that I did what I did, I love you and I thought you were dead so I did what I thought I had to do how could you expect me not to at least try?"

I don't say a word to her I just stride forcefully up to her and shove her into the wall and crash my lips into hers taking her lips roughly until they are bruised and kiss swollen.

I touch her everywhere but I'm not gentle she's going to have bruises everywhere and I rip her clothes off tearing at my own as I push her onto the bed marking her everywhere as she pants beneath me and she does the same to me.

I bite her breast and she pushes at me to stop but I slam her hands down next her head and I bite and suck until she's whimpering and the mark I leave is dark purple and red and huge. I put my neck to her mouth and she does the same to me but the pain is intoxicating and I don't think she realizes that she's covering the vamp's bites. The sounds that are coming from us are animalistic and such a fucking turn on but I just slide my throbbing cock hard against her leaving more bruises.

I am so fucking hard it hurts and when she whimpers, "God please Dean." I fill her in the next breath and I fuck her like there is no tomorrow because for Beau and I there won't be.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	3. DEAN'S WAY

DEAN'S WAY

I yell at Dean because he won't talk to me and I get that he wants me to be safe but I don't get that he's upset that I saved him and Sam. We are alive isn't that all that should matter? I realize that Dean can't be normal to save a single soul but I couldn't not try to do something and if he can't understand that I don't know what to do but I'm not sorry that I saved the man that I love.

Dean came at me so forcefully I thought he was going to hit me but instead he starts a round of brutal love making that is going to leave marks all over both of us and marking me he was. He bites and sucks my breast so hard it makes my eyes water but he won't stop even when I try to push him away he only holds me down and doesn't stop until I am bruised black.

It hurt like hell but it turns me on so much I'm whimpering and he takes complete control of my body biting sucking bruising and I want more, he can do whatever the hell he wants as long as he gets past this.

He is driving me crazy rubbing his iron hard on against my thigh and I finally have to beg and seconds later he slams into me so hard he moves us up the bed and I gasp at the sudden fullness but it feels so damn good and we're making sounds to rival the best porn movies. He still has not said a word to me but his beautiful needy noises and grunts and moans have me so primed.

I come so fucking hard I arch off the bed screaming his name and he fucks me right through it never ceasing the brutal thrusts even as I'm clawing his back from the sheer ecstasy that fills me. He doesn't even let me recover he just keeps pounding and suddenly his finger is filling my other hole and he's doing a damn good job of keeping rhythm with the thrusts in both places.

I realize what he's doing and I want to scream at him but I'm too far into this savage passion to say a word.

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This is it for Beau and I. I haven't told her yet but I have to do this the Dean Winchester way and that's to make her hate me and trust me I can do that.

I haven't given her much time to prepare for anything because I want her so bad that I just want to fuck her until I can't feel anything anymore. I have to face never touching her again and it fuels me to take all that I can one last time and I do.

I am going to do her every which way that I can and I do. She comes so hard screaming my name and it just fuels me and I thrust harder not even letting her come down from the high. She is going to feel me for a long time and even as I do this to her my heart aches at the thought of losing her, never feeling her against me, or hearing her say I love you ever again. Tears stream from my eyes and I won't look at her I turn the sadness to anger and push my fingers into her other sweet hole.

I turn her over and take her harsher than I should and her screams fill my ears and I close my moist eyes hating to hurt her but needing to push her away from me before it's too late. I love her to damn much to keep her in this danger and the only way that she'll walk away is if she believes that I don't love her anymore and when I get done with this I should be up for an Oscar.

I bring her to one release after another in every way that I can until she's out of it just lying there barely moving from utter over stimulation and exhaustion and still I keep going until I come so fucking hard it's like a blast of pure ecstasy flying out and I push into her hard to the hilt emptying myself, grunting and groaning finally letting her go.

I fall on my back breathing hard, my heart galloping in my chest and I won't be able to sleep. She is completely gone so I get up and shower looking at myself in the mirror covered in scratches and bruises, my eyes so dark they scare even me. I should have walked away all those months ago.

Sadness fills me and I slide down the wall and let the grief of what I am going to do take over.

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When I wake up Dean is sitting at the table sharpening his knife, the look on his face so dark and intent it makes my stomach ache. I look around and everything is packed except clothes for me to wear and I know what it all is and I feel the deepest sense of anguish possible.

I get up off the bed and every part of me aches deliciously and any other time I would be purring like a cat against him. I head to shower and change and wonder what I can do to make this right again.

I come out of the shower and he's standing at the open motel door staring outside. "We need to hit the road." He growls coldly. "I can get you home before dark."

"I am home." I growl back.

He spins on me so fast I flinch and actually raise my hands to defend myself.

"I didn't train you to go after me and Sam; I trained you to take care of yourself. What you did was reckless!"

"And I hadn't been reckless you would be dead!"

"It's how I'm going to die Beau and I should have never ever fucking brought you into this life but that fucking hot ass of yours had me all turned inside out with lust. It's over now."

He can't meet my eyes with the last sentence and I feel my heart being ripped to shreds at the same time that fury fills me.

"Fuck you Dean, you're my lover not my master so I go where I want to go."

He lifts his eyes to glare at me and it's the darkest lethal look he has ever leveled at me. I am literally quaking in my boots.

"And you want to go home." He says with such venom I can almost feel the words piercing my skin.

Maybe I'm being stubborn or maybe I've just been around Dean too long but I level my own look.

"Just because you fuck like a god doesn't mean you are one."

Testing Dean's temper isn't the best idea I've ever had.

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I'm loading my things into the Impala when I hear the screaming coming from Dean and Beau's room. I turn to look and Dean is so furious he's red and Beau isn't showing any intimidation.

I head towards them before someone calls the police but thankfully we are at the very back lot of this motel and most of the rooms are already empty.

"This was all a mistake so you are going home if I have to fucking tie you up and throw you in the trunk." Dean is roaring.

"Kiss my ass Dean." Beau screams back at him.

"You need to keep this down." I toss in my two cents and I get two death glares that I thank God don't have the power they are leveling because I'd either be burnt to a crisp or auditioning for Medusa's modeling agency.

If I had any common sense I would walk away and wait in the car but something in Dean's eyes really and mean really worries me. He has that look that he will do whatever it takes to get his way and that can be dangerous, trust me I know.

Beau grabs her duffle and brushes past Dean and he looks relieved that is until she walks past the Impala.

He runs to catch up with her grabbing her arm and spinning her around.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"I'm leaving isn't that what you want?" She hisses but I can see how hard she's fighting the tears back.

"I'm taking you home." He says his voice a low rumble.

Beau yanks her arm free. "I don't have a home because my boyfriend is having a major PMS moment and instead of wearing the fucking tampon he apparently smoked it and is fucked in the head!"

I almost snicker out loud but then Dean looks even more furious if that's even possible.

Beau starts walking away again and Dean puts himself right in the way.

"Be happy that I'm leaving Dean." She says.

"You're not going out there alone." He retorts.

"I'll be alone wherever I end up." She says in a bare whisper and the tears flow.

Dean flinches for just a second before he dives behind that fucking wall that he has perfected.

"It was all a mistake and you need to accept that." He says with soul wrenching clarity.

"I love you Dean and nothing you say or try to do to convince me that it was all a mistake won't work with me but I won't be with you anymore if you don't want me here."

Dean doesn't drop the stone cold glare.

"I'm not going back to Kingston Dean so accept that." She adds a bit more strongly.

"Dean….." I begin.

He snaps to look at me. "None of your concern Sammy." His words are sharp.

Beau tries to walk again and Dean grabs her wrist hard and I literally gasp when she takes him to the ground with a move he taught her, a move that led to them being in bed for hours afterward and now it's nowhere near that intimate. Beau adds a nerve pinch that Dean taught her too but since she's a nurse she really makes it work for her leaving Dean breathless and pissed to all hell that he let her get the upper hand.

She moves away from him staring at him and begins to walk.

"Beau don't you fucking dare leave you hear me I will make you regret it!" Dean screams as he desperately tries to get the feeling back.

"I love you Dean." She calls to him. "You either come to your senses or pretend I never existed since you are so fucking talented in that department."

"Don't let her leave Sam!"

"It's none of my concern Dean." I say wryly, knowing that I am going to get my ass handed to me the minute he's back up but he so left the door open on that one.

I can feel Dean's eyes burn into me but I don't look at him, I just watch Beau walk away as he keeps screaming for her to stop.

It's only a few minutes later that Dean is up trembling with anger, his eyes gleaming with tears.

He shoves me to my ass hard, yeah I may be taller and more built than my big brother but Dean has this scary ass strength that he keeps well hidden and the main reason I have never been able to take him without something to back me up.

He jumps in the Impala and goes after her. I go and rent the rooms again because I know we are not going anywhere after all today.

Hours later he returns to the motel barreling through the door and I know that he never found her, trained by Dean Winchester after all.

"Fucking hell!" He yells pacing like a mad man.

He goes back out and I don't see him again until the next day blood shot eyes now worried and scared because he still loves her no matter what he pretends otherwise.

"I just wanted to protect her Sam." He finally breaks. "I never meant for this to…for her to not believe that I …" His breath hitches and I get him a beer with a little additive because I know my brother he will keep going and going until he drops.

When he sleeps I try to call Beau but she's not answering and I do my own research at the bus stations and taxis and the like so I can have that info when he wakes. If she left town it wasn't by bus, train, taxi, or plane.

Three days later we haven't found a clue to where she went and Dean is a complete stone just staring at the wall blaming himself for all of this even though he has no idea what this is.

"If anything happened to her." He whispers more than once.

I know that if anything happened to her I will lose my brother all over again and I can barely stomach the thought.

We are sitting in silence in the motel room when Dean's phone sounds and I can see by the look in his eyes that it's Beau on his ID.

"Baby I'm sorry please tell me where you are?" He breathes as a tear slips from one eye perfectly.

He's suddenly on his feet his eyes wide and I'm up too trying to listen.

"No please don't hurt her." He groans. "If you hurt her….."

He closes his eyes as he listens to whoever is supposed to be hurting Beau and the tears slip past.

"Please." He whispers and then he must be talking to Beau. "Baby tell me where you are and I'll be on my way, Beau I love you please….."

I can't breathe when I see the look on Dean's face and he caves to his knees sagging. "No!" He pleads and even from where I stand I can now hear Beau's blood curdling screams over the phone, I fall to my knees too and watch my brother die with her.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	4. WRONG TURN

WRONG TURN

I love Isabeau and I have from the day I set eyes on her, having her with me has been the happiest that I have ever been and I just wanted to protect her.

I'm actually proud when she knocks my ass to the ground but I'm so pissed that I let her get the upper hand and she walks away from me. I fucking pushed her to leave because I wanted her to be safe, that's all I wanted.

Fear fills me knowing she's out there alone and I try to find her for hours, this is what I get for training her too well. I trained her and then get mad when she saved my life what the hell kind of fuck up am I?

I'm frantic and I'm so tired I don't believe that I can sleep but after drinking a couple of beers I somehow crash but I don't wake refreshed, just full of dread, she won't answer her phone and Sam has searched every form of transportation and found nothing.

If anything happens to her I will never forgive myself.

Three days later I just sit and stare holes into the walls as Sam stares at me and I'm trying desperately to think of what I should do now and then my phone goes off to Beau's ringtone, I feel relief she has come to her senses and giving me a chance to redeem myself.

I don't usually beg or anything remotely similar but I answer the phone. "Baby I'm sorry please tell me where you are?" My blood runs cold as I jump to my feet a voice full of venom hisses to me.

"Well Dean I'll get right to the point I have your mate and mine is dead because of her so what should I do?"

"No please don't hurt her, if you hurt her….."

"You have the nerve to threaten me?" I hear Beau gasp in pain.

I close my eyes because I already know that I can't save her. "Please." I know what's coming yet I try and then I hear Beau on the line.

"Dean I love you and this is not your fault you hear me, I love you no matter what."

"Baby tell me where you are and I'll be on my way, Beau please I love you."

"I'm sorry Dean, I love you baby." She whispers and then she's screaming sounds of pure agony and my legs won't hold me anymore, I fall to my knees. "No!"

I can hear flesh ripping and her screams, vampires are feeding on her taking her life and I can't do a damn thing about it but wish more than anything that I was dead.

I can't let go of the phone, I can't breathe, the sudden silence is the final agonizing blow to my shattering heart. The voice taunts me.

"You should have just left us alone, mmmmm she had delicious blood." The vamp laughs and then the connection is gone.

Nothing exists for me at the moment, nothing but the desire to kill and die with her but then I see Sam's grief the guilt in his eyes because he let her go and as always my little brother keeps me alive by the barest of threads.

"Don't Sammy." I manage in a stranger's voice.

He nods and stumbles to his feet pulling me to mine he hugs me hard and I accept it needing the connection to ground me. He stumbles to his computer and I see him tapping away a look of determination on his face and moments later he looks at me.

"They left her phone on and the GPS." He says softly.

I nod unable to swallow the huge lump in my throat. At least I can give her peace in death and the thought breaks me and the tears flow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

We drive to the location of the GPS signal on Beau's phone and Dean looks so fucking lost that it hurts to look at him. I have no idea how he's pushing himself to face Beau's broken lifeless body but as a hunter he has to make sure she's at rest.

Memories of burying my brother flood me when he was ripped apart by the hell hounds. His lifeless body staring up with his unseeing green eyes the torture of cleaning him up and sewing him up changing his clothes and all that blood my God so much blood, I still don't know how I did it, how I made it especially when I had to close the lid on the coffin. The final blow to my heart that my brother was truly and gone and suffering in hell.

Tears pour down my face as we drive and I feel Dean's squeeze my wrist. Maybe he knows what I'm thinking I'm not sure but either way in his grief stricken mind he still tries to comfort me and that is what sets Dean apart from every person I know, Dean always putting others before himself especially me.

We arrive at the place and Dean takes a deep breath his hands white from the death grip he has on the steering wheel.

I begin to leave the car but Dean stops me.

"Let me." He whispers.

"There could still be vamps." I say.

"I can handle it Sammy just I need to do this alone ok?"

I nod understanding how unbelievably painful this has to be for him and how it hasn't entirely hit him yet.

Dean walks away and I pray.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

My feet feel like lead as I walk forward, I steel myself for the sight that I will see for the rest of my life but tears are already making it hard to see and I get mad at myself and get the best grip that I can.

There is blood everywhere and I find Beau's phone covered in it but no Beau and I walk further and find only more blood.

What could they have done to her body? I dread the thought so much as I look some more but find nothing. I walk slowly back to the Impala wishing that this shit was over instead I'm lost knowing that Beau will have no peace.

I drive us back to the motel stopping only to buy enough whiskey to put me in a coma for a couple of days. This isn't how I should be remembering Beau but if I don't drown the pain I'll be glad to swallow a bullet.

"I need to be alone Sammy." I tell him grabbing a couple of bottles and I climb up on the roof of the motel out of sight but where I can see everything going on below. The night is cool and it feels good on my hot body and I sit back and let my mind wander to the last place I want to be but I can't help it Beau had become my life, my love, and I needed her so much.

I replay the night I met her and every moment from there as the whiskey burns my throat but not her memory.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I scream at the sky. "Haven't I lost enough?"

A sound behind me makes me startle and I think I have drank way too much seeing Beau standing there beautiful as ever.

Hallucinations like this can't be wasted so I stand and move to her, look at her and pull her close. She feels way too real for a figment of my imagination so I stare at her.

"It's me Dean." She says not looking at me.

"But Beau….the screams…Beau." I say reaching with trembling fingers to lift her face to look at me. My heart already knows but my mind won't accept it as I look into her eyes. I pull her close again. "Beau please forgive me." I plead.

"There is nothing to forgive Dean you remember I told you that is not your fault, I love you."

"Beau I can save you." I start.

She looks sadly at me. "It's too late." My heart is crushed again because she knows, I trained her after all.

"I'll be waiting." She says and she kisses me like everything in the world is so fucking normal. "I'm sorry Dean." and she's gone.

I can't breathe and I nearly tumble off the roof and Sam and his freaky ESP is suddenly beside me.

"Dean what the hell I thought I heard Beau."

I nod as tears stream down my face and I slip to my ass needing to sit because my legs are useless. "She was here." I manage.

Sam looks around confused.

"They turned her Sam they turned her so that I would have to be the one to kill the only woman I have ever loved." I can't stop the tears even though fury fills me, I have to hunt Beau and I thought I knew real pain before.

Maybe I never left hell.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	5. IN THIS LIFE

IN THIS LIFE

Dean hasn't said much of anything since Beau's appearance and I know he's wondering why she would come to him at all when he would have just assumed that she was dead, really dead.

She could have hidden away but it was if she wanted Dean to be the one to kill her even though it was going to be one of the hardest things he has ever had to do.

I want to offer to do it for him but I know better, his eyes are dark and his face stone as he readies his hunting gear.

I already know I'm not invited on this hunt and I'm scared for him, hell I'm scared of him, Dean can be downright terrifying when he's pissed and lost. Dean is very lost right now how much more does my hero brother have to lose?

He grabs his duffle and heads to the door, he won't look at me and his voice is cold, dark steel.

"I have to do this one alone Sammy, I'll let you know when it's done but I won't be back for a few days." He takes a deep hitched breath and I read between the lines.

He won't be back for a few days so that he can grieve and build walls so high and thick Fort Knox will be envious. It doesn't make me feel any better that the only reason that my brother hasn't swallowed a bullet is because of me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

In this life I have loved and lost and lost and lost.

I don't know how I stay sane, maybe it's because I'm not. You can't be sane to live this life.

I know Sam doesn't want to leave me alone but he understands, he had to kill someone he cared about once because she was a monster granted he hadn't been with her a year but it still hurt him.

I know that Sam would do this for me if I let him but **B**eau wanted it to be me why else would she come to me. I was never going to be the same after this and hopefully Sam would adjust to that like he has to every other thing.

I will never love again and after Beau well…..my chest hurts thinking that there will be no more Beau ever. There will be no one again ever.

I have been driving lost in thought when Beau is suddenly in the road and I slam on the brakes.

I can't believe she is a vampire now and I have to kill her but she's still so beautiful and I still love her.

This is all my fault because of my obsessive need to keep her safe I had put her in the most danger. I step from the car and she's in front of me.

She caresses my face and I can't help but lean into it. "How…. how did this…..?"

"They turned me thinking that they could make me go after you and Sam make me hate you for this happening to me, I went along with it even feeding so that I could kill them all and keep you safe."

The words are daggers to my heart, she let this happen to protect me and I had done nothing but let her down.

"Beau I'm so sorry."

"The need to feed is overwhelming the smell of blood is addictive but I won't ever hurt you Dean, ever but I know that it's your job to rid the world of things like me."

I pull her into my arms and hold her close how in the hell am I supposed to kill her?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm a vampire now, full-fledged because I fed to protect Dean and I don't want to live like this not alone and Dean knows how to kill things like me.

They wanted me to kill Dean and Sam but even now with the alluring scent of Dean's blood right under my nose I could never hurt him. Vampire or not I still love him and will always love him and even though I know Dean will be destroyed it has to be him that kills me.

"Let's go." I tell him and get in the Impala.

He gets in and I tell him where to go, I need for him to see that the whole nest is dead, I killed them all for him to be safe and he looks around at the dozens of bodies that I handled all alone.

"I trained you well." He whispers.

"Yeah you did." I say to him. "I don't want to die here too I want to die on the beach." I say without looking at him.

I can hear his heart and it seems to skip.

"Beau…" He starts his voice broken. "Ok baby."

It takes a couple of hours to find a secluded beach and we stand staring at the water, he does what he always used to do back at Kingston, he steps in behind me and holds me close to him burying in face in my neck I can feel the tears slide down.

I turn to face him kissing him for what will be the last time and I want my last sight to be his smile but I know he can't smile now maybe ever.

"I love you Dean."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She takes me to the nest to prove to me that she killed the entire nest and I feel pride even though the loss was huge but I trained her well after all.

I nearly come to my knees when she tells me that she wants to die on the beach, my heart wavers.

I want to tell her I can't do this that we'll research find a way to help her but all that comes out is her name and an endearment.

So I drive us to a beach and we stare at the water and I hold her close needing her to be my Beau and I cry. She kisses me looking at me and it hurts to my core that she wants me to be the last thing that she sees.

"I love you Dean." She whispers and I can give her one last memory, she's here and maybe not quite human but I can still show her that I love her no matter what.

I kiss her harder, hungrily, she feels so fucking good even now and I want her, my hearts jumps hard I'm about to make love to a vampire. Mark that one off my bucket list.

"Dean." She starts to pull away but I hold her.

"I need you." I beg shamefully and she caves.

I undress her slowly looking her over as I take my own clothes off and I touch her everywhere. This can't be how we end my heart hurts so much.

I lay her down gently and cover her with my body not wanting this to end ever but knowing that it will.

I push into her and we both gasp because it feels so different but still so fucking good. Almost like individual bolts of pleasure moving through me and I've barely started.

I make the slowest sweetest love that I can to her, hearing her moans makes me feel so right and so lost all at once. I wrap her up so close no room between us and she follows through pulling me closer setting he calves behind my thighs as we rock together.

I look at her face, her eyes are closed in serene pleasure, her lips parted in quiet ecstasy and then her fangs extend. Her eyes fly open in fear but I hold her still.

"Do it." I whisper.

"Dean I'll hurt you." She says.

"Please baby I want this I know you won't kill me." I tell her although I'm sort of praying that I'm wrong. Yeah let her kill me and take the coward's way out because with my track record I will return to the land of the living one way or another.

She won't deny me much right now and I feel her fangs cut into my neck and I hiss in pain and the most unbelievable pleasure. The pain I expected I have been bitten before, the pleasure is a surprise.

A lustful, sinful surprise that has me coming undone like never before, the bite is pure sexual orgasmic heat being pumped right into me and my body loves it and my brain is doing a meltdown.

I'm calling her name when my release bursts out of me filling her and it's like nothing I've ever felt. My body is convulsing in pure complete ecstasy that is beyond mind blowing.

Power of thought, speech, anything, all gone as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss flows through me and then she joins me releasing my neck I actually whimper at the loss but then she bites the other side and my world spins out of control. I am screaming in ways that I didn't think possible and I'm still thrusting into her.

The highest high ever as somehow I come again before the first time swirls away and I'm taken down in a hurricane of bliss. I'm getting hoarse from all the sounds I'm making and it's never ending liquid heat just pumping and pumping.

I move and it hits me again and again too much, too fast, too fucking good and I can't take it my body shuts down and I'm falling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean needed this last time and I could hardly deny him anything right now, he'll see once and for all that nothing will be the same again only when we begin to make sweet slow love it's nothing like I imagined.

Dean is a sex god and he know how to please but right now it's as if we're getting the sheerest pleasure possible because it's the final time.

My body is quaking with pure ecstasy as he pushes into me and I feel like I'm coming undone before we have even really started. I lie there feeling every delightful jolt of bliss pulsing through me and push him further with my calves tight behind his thighs.

I close my eyes to savor it all, I smell his delicious erotic blood pumping so close and then my fangs extend, it scares the hell out of me.

Dean doesn't seem effected at all when I look into his eyes he tells me to do it but I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop.

He begs me to do it that he knows I won't kill him but I see the hope in his eyes.

I do it for him and it's unbelievable, his aroused blood is like fucking nectar but the way our bodies react is breath taking lust times infinity. For just a second I think I'm hurting him but then the fucking sounds that come from him are pure needy sex and he's coming so hard it shocks me and then I feel it too because his body is vibrating from this new euphotic high we have stumbled across. Dean and I have always had fantastic sex but this; this is beyond a justifiable description, a volcanic eruption of pure euphoric bliss.

When I change my bite to the other side of Dean's neck he's making sounds that I didn't know he could make and he's losing his voice from the over use of his throat. His eyes are lost in the back of his head and he's holding me hard still thrusting and coming undone again.

He gasps as his whole body tries process what's happening and then a small groan falls from his lips and he falls still his heart racing so I know that he's alive.

I'm able to let him go licking my lips at the fine wine that I just drank, I gently push him onto his back and call his name.

It's nearly an hour before he comes around confused for a second probably hoping that it has all been a nightmare but he knows as he looks in my eyes.

We kiss and then I stand to get dressed and he does too. His mind a million miles away and the end around the corner, I look at the water listen to the waves and wait to die.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I hear Beau calling to me and I finally am able to pull myself from the depth that I seem to have fallen into.

I look into her eyes above me for a few minutes hoping against hope that it was all a bad dream well not the sex part

We kiss softly for a little and she pulls away to get dressed, she turns to look at the water while she waits for me to dress and my mind is flying.

Somehow she got my machete and she hands it to me I take it trying hard to be brave for her but my lips quiver, my neck sore from the bites.

I pull her close and she smiles at me softly. "We didn't get forever Dean but the time that I had with you was the best time of my life and please you have to promise me that you'll go on with your life, you can be happy you'll see."

She's asking the impossible but I promise her anyway, the machete feels like it weighs a ton in my hand.

"I love you Beau." I whisper and pull her into a hard kiss. I taste my own blood on her lips and I feel a jolt surge through me and I kiss her harder.

Beau crying out my name is the last thing I hear before the life I've known ends forever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean has been gone for hours and even though he told me he would call me when it was over and be gone for days, I'm worried about him because he wasn't anywhere near the right frame of mind when he left.

I am shocked when I hear the Impala roaring into the parking lot and I jump to open the door.

Dean is sitting behind the wheel his head down and I think that's he's hurt I start to move towards him but he steps out of the car closing the door he leans back against his baby.

I walk slowly around to stand in front of him and I have to suppress a gasp his shirt is covered in blood and I hope it's not his.

"It's not my blood Sammy." He says low, his eyes still haven't met mine.

"Dean what happened you said you were going to call me?"

"Change of plans bro."

"Dean are you alright?" I ask in concern.

"Couldn't be better." He hisses.

A creeping sensation curls through me and I take one step closer.

"I couldn't' do it Sammy I couldn't she didn't' deserve to die like that." He roars. "I'm sorry Sammy, please forgive me."

I know deep in my soul that he's not asking for forgiveness for not killing Beau and it's all confirmed in the next second when he finally lifts his eyes to mine.

"Dean no." I whisper tears filling my eyes.

"I couldn't leave her alone it's my fault this happened so she shouldn't suffer alone."

"Dean we can….." I start.

Dean smiles sadly running his hand over his shirt. "I already fed Sam."

My heart skips knowing the blood all over him is from a person he killed.

"Don't freak Sam I made sure to kill a pure evil child killer."

Dean moves away from the car running his hand over the roof. "Take care of my baby and I know that if anyone can save us Sammy it's you and Bobby but I promise we are not going to kill anyone that doesn't deserve it. I love you Sammy."

I don't even get a chance to answer and he has vanished into the night in seconds I see him up on the roof with Beau kissing her and holding her close and then they were gone.

I stumble against the car in shock my brother, my only family is now one of the monsters we hunt.

I hurt everything that I have eaten and then scream into the night.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	6. SAMMY'S TURN

SAMMY'S TURN

It has been nearly three months since my brother and his girlfriend became vampires and I have searched high and low on how to save them well once I got my head on straight.

I spent the first few weeks furious with my brother for what he did for leaving me alone, for choosing Beau over me. I sound like a bitter six year old but I couldn't help it, Dean had promised me long ago that he would always be there for me.

I was blinded by my bitterness because I found out that Dean was there just out of sight watching out for his little brother.

I had gotten drunk one night at a bar and I stumbled back to the motel I was attacked by a couple of shape shifters. They knew who I was my reputation precedes me and all that and they assumed that I was hunting them

Hell I had no idea they were in town being that all I could think about was my brother.

They weren't going to let me live and I wasn't exactly prepared for them.

"Sammy you didn't tell me you were throwing a party." Dean's dark as night cold as steel voice cut into the night. "Oh it's a surprise party." He chuckled. "Surprise."

He was on them so fast I barely processed the movement and they were dead lighting quick moves and flash of silver and barely one breath.

Dean stood over me looking quite menacing tall with his dark eyes wearing all black, made him look unreal.

"Can you can the bitch fit already?" He said.

I nodded dumbly and he was gone.

Needless to say I started researching the next morning hangover and all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean Winchester newborn vampire were words I never thought would be said about me but here I am when I was supposed to have killed Beau and I had tasted my own blood on her lips the idea hit me to join her not let her suffer alone instead of killing her so with her crying out my name in protest I bit into her lip and ingested her blood officially turning myself and then feeding to seal the deal.

Beau was floored that I had done it for her become what I had hunted nearly my entire life.

I loved her and I was going to make sure she knew that and now I had eternity to prove it.

Unless of course Sam could find a way to save us and like I had told him if anyone could it was him and Bobby.

I expected Sam to get upset about my decision but I didn't expect him to act like the disgruntled bride left at the altar.

Weeks went by as I watched him go from town to town sulking like a kid who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas.

He was being careless as all hell too and I was getting pissed. I took out a werewolf he didn't even pick up on in one town more vamps in another and then the shape shifters so that he could get his head out of ass.

I wasn't with him but I was always there and would always be and then it hit me that if we weren't cured I would have to watch my little brother die for real hopefully of old age but still I would live on and no Sammy.

The thought did not sit well with me at all.

"If worse comes to worse you can turn him too." Beau said to me one night not realizing what I was fearing was etched on my face.

Sam a vampire, now that would be something to set eyes upon and that became plan b, getting Sam to agree might be another story.

So far Beau and I had done our best to get rid of all vampires that killed innocent people and we came across a few that killed only evil like us or drank animal blood, we left them alone.

It was hard to believe just how many depraved murdering killers are out there so we wouldn't starve ever.

Beau and I are our own little nest just traveling staying close to Sam. We were always meant to be because even now as vampires we work together so easily.

We had just fed on a couple of child predators and were back at the cottage where were squatting. The sun would be up in a couple of hours, it really didn't hurt us but it wasn't comfortable either.

We kiss hard and we pull each other's clothes off and I turn her around kissing her neck running my hands all over her body as I slowly run my hard cock between her luscious ass cheeks.

Even that sent intense shivers of pleasure shooting through every nerve ending for both of us. I bent her over and pushed into her with one solid thrust as she gasps in delight and my eyes roll just from the sheer pressure around my cock.

Vampire lust who knew right?

It's like every part of your being is awakened and aroused and you feel the pleasure everywhere.

Each thrust a tiny explosion of 'please fucking do that again.'

One hand on her hip the other on her shoulder I go for broke thrusting harder balls deep into that sweet hole that makes me mindless. The sounds we make are animalistic. Best of all is we can do this for hours and the pleasure is just as intense as ever.

I move into her harder lifting her feeling the steady pressure of complete fulfilling release rising in my gut and pulsing outward until it explodes and I feel like I'm going to melt it's so fucking delicious. She's right there with me mewling as her whole body shivers in delight and I keep thrusting through it all because the pleasure just keeps coming and slowly trickles away.

So fucking good, so fucking hot, so fucking let's go again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Becoming vampires has not in any way ebbed our sexual tendencies with each other, hell it has actually intensified everything so much, sometimes too much. Still it's not the best reason to stay a vampire. The hunger that hits when we have to feed is something I don't think I will ever get used too.

Still having Dean with me is all that matters he keeps us straight and when we have to kill it's people that are evil. Part of me knows that's not right either but we have to survive putting all our faith in Sam.

He'll do it for Dean because I know I'm not his favorite person in the world right now.

I know Dean is picturing a future still as vampires one where his Sammy dies and can't be brought back. I tell him he can always r turn him too but the look of uncertainty that Dean gets says that Sam won't want that.

I think the way Sam acted after Dean chose to not kill me and join me tells a different story.

Dean is not in that world right now he's turned on to the ninth degree and he pushes me onto our bed tasting me everywhere electrifying my body to just the point before over sensitivity. The control he has on me is earth stopping.

I'm on my stomach and he lies on top of me lifting just enough to push into me again taking my hands over my head holding me down while he thrusts like he didn't just get off a few minutes before.

He's saying wickedly dirty words in my ear that send shivers everywhere and instantly the pleasure is building hot and heavy.

I feel his fangs in the back of my neck and I thrust back against him because it's as if our fangs have some kind of sexually heated intensifying endorphins in the saliva or something because every part of our bodies becomes a sweet spot of intoxicating ecstasy.

He slides one arm down so that I can bite into his wrist and I do. His moans are pure sensual sin and he thrusts harder.

In all that is holy we fall over this unbelievable brink of complete euphoria that just tumbles over and over.

He collapses beside me with a contented smirk and I smile at him. In these time it's too easy to forget that the rest of the world would consider us monsters.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I had not been too thrilled to be the one to have to tell Bobby that Dean had turned into a vampire on purpose. He was livid then worried.

He stayed at home to do his research but called me every day to check on me.

I was deep in research mode when he called again.

"Sam I think I found what you're looking for and I can't believe it's possible but it seems to be true." Bobby growls.

"What is it Bobby?" I ask super excited.

"It's on its way to you." Bobby responds sort of amused that does not make me comfortable.

"You sent me a package?"

"You can say that." Booby chuckles and hangs up.

Damn Bobby and his cryptic sense of humor.

It's about five hours later that a knock comes to my motel room door and I answer on alert to find a blonde green eyed beauty.

"You have my package?" I ask.

"I am your package." She says and shoves past me into the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am so relaxed lying with Beau now dressed to start another night of hunting evil.

There is a sudden stir of air and I sense the danger immediately jumping to my feet pulling Beau with me. There are too many and they are hunters, human hunters that I used to hunt with and though they have no idea that I have been turned by choice they won't listen to reason because I wouldn't have.

I could kill them to lower the numbers but I can't do that these guys are good honest to goodness hunters just doing their job but I have to keep Beau safe, that's my job.

I take her in my arms kiss her hard and they attack.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"My name is Laney Smith." The woman says as she takes a seat at the table plopping her messenger bag full of files and her laptop on top of it.

"Bobby said there was a way to change vampires back to human even after they have fed." I get directly to the point.

"There is but it isn't very pleasant and requires ingredients that Bobby said you wouldn't have any problem getting."

"Like what?"

"The blood of the vampire that turned each person and consecrated elder wood and the dirt from a widow's grave and palmer oil plus other herbs that should be easy enough to get."

"Palmer oil is extinct." I huff.

Laney smirks. "I wouldn't be here if it was would I?"

Great the fucking blonde female version of my brother so of course I like her.

"How are you sure it works?"

"My brother used it on me, I was a vampire." She says as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

Naturally I like her even more. She used to be hunted and she knows about the supernatural.

"Where is your brother?"

"He's researching trying to figure out how to help werewolves now." She smiles warmly.

Close to her brother, another point for Laney smith.

We sit and talk for about an hour and order a pizza. It's so easy to talk to her and so far we can track down everything we need the only thing is how to get the blood of the vamp that turned Beau.

A loud thud makes the door shake and we both jump alert, Laney just as prepared as I am.

I look through the peep hole and see nothing but there is something there because the door is thrumming.

I throw Laney a glance and motion for her to be ready, she nods and I throw open the door.

Beau falls in on the floor covered in blood and I rush outside to look for Dean although I know that if Beau is this hurt Dean has to be worse.

I kneel down beside Beau. "Where is Dean?" I ask as I lift her into my arms.

"Just kill me Sam." She whispers.

"Where is he?" I say a bit more desperately.

"The hunters Sam…they killed him."

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	7. BURNING DESIRES

BURNING DESIRES

The hunters attacked fiercely and we were able to fight them off for the most part without killing them until they injected me with dead man's blood and I fell weak to my knees.

I made Beau leave forced her to go telling her I couldn't do what I needed to with her in danger. She was already hurt needing to feed and I didn't want for her to see me die.

She goes very reluctantly but since mating as vampires she seems to have to listen to me something I didn't mind one bit.

The four hunters still standing hold me in place and the other bring down the machete. I don't feel pain I just feel the sensation of falling and it's over just like that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

This can't be it this can't be how we end Dean becoming a vampire to stay with me only for him to die because of it at the hands of the very people he used to be like.

We fought hard took down many of them without killing them but it was just too much. When Dean fell he told me to leave and I had to, I can't deny him anything since we mated as vampires.

I'm hurt and weak. The last thing I see before I run to Sam is Dean being held down and I just want to die.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm shaking so badly Laney has to take over taking care of Beau. This can't be it we were a dime's width from getting the cure together when hunters of all things took my brother out.

Our lives have been far from fare but this took the cake.

"Didn't he try to explain?" I scream.

"Would you listen?" Beau answered me in a bare whisper.

I know what's she's feeling, the deep seeded loss the need to kill what killed who you love, the utter craving to just die.

"I'm going to go look to make sure." I say to no one in particular.

No one responds because who wouldn't make sure right?

I'm barely getting my things to head out when a loud demanding knock rocks the door.

Once again we do the whole making sure we're ready for trouble routine looking through the peep hole I see Bobby.

I throw open the door ready to pepper Bobby with the news but freeze because there in the front seat of Bobby's car is Dean unmoving and so pale it scares me but he's there.

Bobby knows the questions coming. "I got to him before they killed him thank God but I had to take out some good hunters to save his idjit ass." Bobby can try to play the anger up but I can see the relief in his eyes.

I hug Bobby fiercely to convey my gratitude and rush to my brother. Bobby and I get him into the room. Beau is so relieved to see Dean but still weak. Laney is amazing none of this shit freaks her out.

I must have stared a little too long because she turns to me and smiles.

"He needs to feed." Bobby breaks the connection. "I can't believe I just said that." He mutters.

Laney had already supplied Beau with some of her blood so I didn't think twice cutting my arm and helping out my brother.

His eyes open weakly and he bats at my arm feebly apparently not too thrilled with feeding on my blood.

"Dean I'm just trying to help you so you're strong enough to go out on your own."

Dean stares at me for a minute then nods but he takes the blood with closed eyes.

Once he is able to move he heads to Beau and lies beside her pulling her close. They fall asleep within seconds wrapped in each other's arms.

Bobby heads to his own room and Laney and I stand guard.

"They are really in love huh?" Laney asks.

"Yeah." I answer and I find myself telling her all about how Dean met Isabeau and she listens and smiles the whole time. "Dean never thought he'd find love but love sure did find him." I finish.

"It's amazing how that can happen." She murmurs and before I can actually analyze what I'm doing I pull Laney into a kiss which she openly accepts and for the first time in a long time I feel want.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I hear roaring in my head and I feel tremors through my body. I sit up disoriented but once I spot Beau beside me I feel relief.

Sam and some woman I don't know are lying on another bed rather cozy and I can't help but smile. It's nice when Sam lets go although Beau and I being in the room has hampered the lust zone.

I feel earth tilting dizziness and even though I'm still sitting I feel like I'm going to fall on my ass. I need to feed or I'll only get worse and I'm sure Beau is in the same boat.

I wake her gently and motion that we need to hunt and she nods looking over at Sam and smiles too.

I leave Sam a note telling him where we're going and exactly what time we'll be back so that hopefully my boy will get a clue.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I wake to an empty bed where Dean and Beau should be and I begin to panic until I spot the note.

Dean and Beau have gone off to feed and he tells me exactly what time they'll be back in his none subtle hint of what he expects me to do with such time. I smile fondly to myself loving that Dean is there to still be able to do such annoying things.

If this cure doesn't work what will Dean do? I know that's he's worried about me and I knows that he knows that I'll continue to grow old while he stays forever thirty.

Would I turn for my brother? I think I owe him that much.

Anyway I have a couple of hours to get rid of some blue balls and as I gently kiss Laney awake I pray really hard she feels the same.

I let out a chuckle of relief when I feel her hands working at the button of my jeans.

Thank you.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's really sad how it doesn't take much to find evil in our world. Beau and I find our dinner pretty fast in the form of a couple who thinks children are their play things.

I can't believe people can be so heartless.

Once we are strong again I pull Beau close and kiss her with complete abandon. Each time we nearly lose each other it just makes us love each other more.

Not wanting to disturb Sam's time I find us a garden with a huge gazebo and not wanting to strip down completely I work the best possible position under the circumstances.

I pull her jeans down just enough to get to her tight fucking amazing ass and I bend her over pushing into her, the fact that her thighs are close together makes it unbelievably tight perfect friction and so fucking intense.

I tell her that I love her that I will always need her as I push harder and harder into her.

She tells me the same and begins to pant my name something I live for well you know what I mean.

I feel the bubble of the lava spreading through me far too soon but I can't stop it I need this; we came too close to not being.

I don't' know what it is maybe thinking that we were nearly gone but I shove into her a guttural moan pushes from my throat and she screams my name as we both come undone.

The bliss spreads everywhere and we ride it out, it's so fucking amazing, the pulsing from head to toe over and over until you feel like you're going to just melt into the ground.

We clean up and I pull her close.

"If we don't get cured do you think we can make it like this having to feed forever?" She asks me quietly.

"With you by my side I can." I answer her truthfully.

"Some people kill to be immortal and we're trying to give it back."

"Don't you want to give it back?"

"Yes I do even though we kill only evil, I don't like killing, I really don't not like this"

I wish that I could say the same but I've been killing way too long; it is as much a part of me as breathing.

I hold her tighter. "Whatever happens we're in it together baby."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I look at the time and see that Dean and Beau will be back in minutes and I 'm grinning like an idiot.

Laney and I have cleaned up and gotten some comfy clothes on and we're lying in bed just relaxing and enjoying the afterglow.

"You know now that I've been so easy will you respect me in the morning." She says lightly.

"I respect you now that was just wow."

"I could have at least gotten dinner out of you I'm frickin' starving."

On cue Dean and Beau arrive with bags of take out. Dean smiles slyly.

"Figured you'd need some fuel lover boy." He says in a snicker.

Laney laughs and heads for the food and properly introduces herself to Dean and Beau before she starts eating.

I can tell Dean likes her, he smiles and nods at me as a sign of approval.

"You have the cure?" Dean asks.

"It's not easy Dean but it's the only thing that I know of that will work." Laney offers.

"If anything was ever easy in my life I'd die of shock." Dean mutters. "So how does it work?"

Laney sighs deeply. "After all the ingredients are collected and set in motion...you have to be burned alive."

We all stare at her agape.

"We'll survive that?"

"If it works yes you will but it will probably be the most excruciating agony you have ever endured."

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Dean grumbles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After drinking some concoction we will be tied down under a tier of consecrated elder wood and set on fire.

The fact that I don't flinch an inch speaks of what little surprise such things hold for me. I knew it wouldn't be easy and I can accept that but for Beau all this is happening because I didn't walk away all those months ago.

I guess she reads minds now because she suddenly has me pinned to the wall outside the motel.

"Stop blaming yourself for this, we fell in love Dean and all this is a fucking cake walk as long as I don't lose you."

I smile at her. "Do you know how turned on I am right now with you woman handling me like this?"

She rolls her eyes but kisses me anyway. "I love you Dean."

"For you to put up with all this you must." I breathe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean and Beau still exhausted from their ordeal are curled up together fast asleep.

It's so strange to be seeing my brother laying there and knowing he's a vampire. My brother feeds on blood.

My brother and I have an awesome connection most people consider it creepy, they just don't know everything that Dean and I have been through or the dread of the shit yet to come.

His eyes flutter open under my scrutiny and he smiles warmly before snuggling closer to Beau and falling back to sleep.

Laney is lying with her head on my shoulder running her hand sleepily over my stomach. The feeling is amazing and I'm getting a bit heated.

She seems to sense that and I startle when her hand moves lower.

"Whoa there." I say pulling her hand back.

She smiles at me. "Are you telling me that after everything you and Dean have been through you have never made out in the same room or car together?"

My cheeks are burning. "We've never had girlfriends at the same time and well it's just awkward." I suddenly feel like a geeky teenager.

"Honey you haven't lived until you watch someone else have sex or someone else watches you and in this case it's a super fucking turn on to try to have hot sex with two other people sleeping in the room."

Instead of being shocked I'm so fucking hard it hurts.

Laney giggles. "I see you interest is peaked."

All I can do is try to say words that I can't quite make them make sense.

I glance over at my brother and Beau and I remember wondering what the hell they were doing sometimes with all the sounds I would hear coming from their room.

Holy crap I really want to do this, who knew?

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am quite comfortably asleep wrapped around Beau when a low moan sifts into my brain.

A manly moan and it wasn't me so I open my eyes half-mast and I am shocked to see Sam and Laney making out like horny teens.

Go Sam I think but he'll cut it short soon or head to the bathroom or outside to get relief because Beau and I are in the room.

I watch for a few seconds and then I think maybe Sam forgot they are not alone so I pretend to shift in my sleep getting comfortable.

They hesitate just a moment and get right back to it and it's then I realize my brother is naked and…..fucking crap…..

Sam's eyes lock on mine and my lips part to say something but instead a moan escapes me and holy fucking shit Sam is moving into Laney his lust blown eyes never leaving mine.

The fact that I'm watching him seems to be motivating him and part of me wants to go into 'what the fuck Sam' mode but I can't because I've never been so turned on in my entire life.

TBC

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I'm treading new ground here having Dean and Sam go erotic in the same room.

I would love some insight!

Thanks for reading!


	8. IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I TURN

IF I DIE BEFORE I TURN

It's the most erotic feeling in the world when I realize that Dean is watching me have sex and I expect him to say something or get pissed.

I see him open his mouth to speak but instead all I hear is a moan that strangely enough I want to hear again.

My whole body's desires go up a whole new couple of levels knowing that big brother is getting turned on by what I'm doing.

This is wrong so fucking wrong on an infinity of levels but the fucking feelings and heat and the building bubbling ecstasy is so intense and Dean's eyes stay glued to mine.

I see his hand move to push at what is surely an erection and he licks his lips watching, I feel now that I have to impress and on cue Laney moans my name and Dean's eyes flutter shut for just a second.

Beau sits up slowly suddenly very aware of what's going on and she seems to be ready to bolt until she looks at Dean's face and he looks at her. They've been together long enough to know each other's thoughts and she moves up to him to kiss him and he kisses her passionately his eyes open still on me.

I've seen my brother kiss women before mostly goodbye and he kisses Beau a lot but this the way he's kissing her now makes me wonder just how good of a kisser Dean really is, not that I ever intend to find out.

Beau moves under the sheets and I see Dean's eyes roll and then come back to me and the sounds emitting from said sheets leaves nothing to the imagination of what's being done to my brother. Holy crap this is really happening.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I can't believe I woke up to Dean watching Sam have sex with Laney and I really thought that Dean was going to come unglued but he's absolutely enthralled and hard as steel.

Seeing him like that makes me want so when he gives that 'well what do you think' look I show him what I think by kissing him forcefully and then I move under the sheets to take his hard dripping cock in my mouth.

He shudders all over and his one hand moves to press against my head while the other reaches out toward Sam and claws at the bed as if to say 'I need more.'

This is so completely new, I mean I know that poor Sam has heard Dean and me at the height of passion more than once but this in the same room, who knew it could be so fucking erotic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am by far not a non-kink man, I have plenty and apparently some I didn't know about. My brother is not a bad looking man but right now that he's in the throes of passion he looks just fucking fuckable and that freaks me out just a little. I'm twisted and about ninety nine buckets of crazy but even I wouldn't take it that far.

This is good watching him slowly come undone taking his partner to the brink where she's panting and writhing under him.

Then I get one of those ideas of proof. I want to know if my brother sees me come what it will do to him. I want to come first just for the experiment.

I squeeze Beau's shoulder letting her know I want her to take me over the edge fast. I glide my other hand across the sheets kneading at the bed my eyes half-mast on Sam's.

Everything that Beau is doing to me is building that heat straight from my gut and I moan loud. Sam's mouth falls open a bit more and I see the shudder go through him.

I lick my lips and bite my lower lip arching slightly to meet Beau's mouth and then her fangs sink into my thigh and I cry out as my orgasm tears through me but I don't close my eyes. My body seizes in ecstasy and I say with my voice cracked and sexed out.

"Fuck Sam."

Sam's eyes roll and he's gone over the edge shoving into Laney with his release and I watch in awe of the way he looks coming undone because I called out his name when I was coming.

Laney's not complaining either apparently she has reached her climax also the way she is thrashing about.

Beau licks me clean and then she joins me and we kiss.

"You ok baby?" I ask her.

"Oh I'm fine." She smiles.

"You got off on that?" I grin.

"Who the fuck wouldn't?" She sighs.

"That is so fucking hot." I whisper.

Sam and I exchange glances but no words, what do you say after something like that?

He and Laney clean up and get ready to sleep kissing languidly. I pull Beau into my arms and kiss her too. This was so extraordinarily good for something so overboard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The wonderful scent of coffee and food wakes me pretty fast because I am starving. I open my eyes to see Dean sitting at the table watching me intently and what happened last night hits me so I lay back and stare at the ceiling for a bit gathering myself before getting off the bed.

"Morning." He says with his classic cocky smirk.

"Morning." I say yawning and stretching in just my boxers. Dean and I have seen each other's body's more than once but this is the first time I see Dean actually checking me out and I can't help but gulp, not because it's weird but because it's sort of flattering,.

Dean is a hot looking man, women always want him and I just called my brother hot, what the fucking hell?

"I got you some breakfast." He says licking his lips a habit he has always had but strangely now it's fascinating.

"Smells great just let me grab a quick shower." I turn to walk into the bathroom and in the mirror I see his eyes still on me his hand adjusting himself. I close the door fast and lean back against it my own erection painful but it just morning wood I lie to myself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vampires do sleep but we don't have to sleep eight hours just a couple and we are good. I hadn't slept much at all so I just got up to bring Sam and Laney some breakfast.

I watch them sleep for a few minutes before Sam stirs and I tell the second last night hits him. I watch him as he stares at the ceiling then he gets up in his boxers which I've seen more times than most brother's our age should but this time it's different. After last night I can't help but see Sam in a different light not the 'I want in my brother's pants' light but the 'I want to see him come undone' just one more time' light.

He notices my scrutiny as he walks to the bathroom and closes the door to try to hide the huge erection he thinks I didn't notice.

I groan putting my head in my hands. What the fuck is happening to us? I hear the water start and I can't help but wonder if my little brother is going to jerk off. Maybe he forgot that vamps have better hearing but I hear him and yes he's going to relieve himself in the shower.

Sam also seems to have forgotten how stealth vamps are and I'm in the bathroom without him noticing behind the shower curtain.

I can see his silhouette holding himself up with one strong arm while his other hands strokes over himself to find that rhythm that will send him over.

I lean back against the wall and pull my own erection free watching and listening until I get my own rhythm.

I have to bite my lip because it feels too fucking good and fuck I gasp.

Sam's motions stop. "Dean are you in here?"

"Yeah Sammy don't stop please don't stop." I plead.

"Dean this is….."

"Don't fucking say it's wrong Sam I can't see you and you can't see me and we're not touching. I heard you jerk off so many times before you went off to college when you thought I was asleep this is just like that "

"You used to hear me?" Sam asks but I see his hand moving again. "Did it turn you on?"

"Yeah Sammy I was right behind you most of the time."

Sam moans probably imagining the amount of times he jerked off as a kid.

His moans make me moan and in seconds we are both coming undone and fuck if it isn't the most intense hand job of my life.

I clean up fast and walk out without another word.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I just had the intention of getting rid of the hard on that wasn't going to go away any other way.

I had found the pace that usually helps trying desperately not to think of my brother when I heard him moan.

He was in the bathroom with me and I never even heard him come in and by the sound of his voice he's doing the same thing and holy fuck so much heat burns in my belly.

Still it freaks me out when he begs me not to stop and tells me that he used to listen to me jerk off when I was younger but when he admits that it turned him on I'm instantly on the verge of coming undone and one more moan from him and it's over and I'm coming so hard I see nothing but white for a few seconds.

Never has a self-hand job been so intense.

The quietness tells me that he's gone and I lean under the water for a few more minutes wondering what do you say after something like that?

Beau and Laney are up now but Dean is gone. I look at Beau and feel my cheeks burn but she only smiles.

Laney on the other hands snickers in earnest at me and then kisses me whispering how much she has to teach me and how she hopes she has the chance to totally corrupt me.

Just like that I'm horny again but I push it back we have things to gather still.

I eat my breakfast and notice through the window that Dean is outside staring off somewhere leaning back against his car.

I sigh and head out there we might as well get this out of the way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Our lives have been so far from normal that nothing should be awkward between us especially not this maybe I'm not entirely human at the moment but I still haven needs and so does Sam and it was hot and just an experiment.

Still when Sam walks out of the room towards me I feel flustered. He leans beside me.

"Well that was different." He huffs.

"Good different or bad different?" I ask looking at him sideways.

He scoffs. "If that was bad I can only imagine what good would be like."

We laugh and just like that everything is cool and not twenty kinds of awkward.

I wonder if it will ever happen again and I see the same question in his eyes.

But then there is something else that I need to make clear to my little brother. "Sam I want you to know that if this doesn't work that it's not your fault."

Sam glares at me for a second. "It's going to work and speaking of that Laney and I are going to go get other things we need and I have no idea how we are going to get blood from the vamp that turned Beau."

"I was trained by Dean so I was prepared." Beau says from the door of the motel and pulls a vial of blood from her jeans.

"That's my girl." I praise her.

"Alright then we will be back in a couple of hours." Sam says and pulls Laney with him taking my car.

I pull Beau close. "So what can we do to distract ourselves for a couple of hours?"

She laughs softly and pulls me in for a kiss as her other hand ghosts over my already rapidly growing erection.

"I love the way you think." I tell her pushing her into the room and closing the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

What Dean said is itching in the back of my mind, I know it wouldn't be my fault if this ritual fails but that wouldn't keep me from feeling the guilt.

He's my brother and has sacrificed so much for me.

"Laney this ritual is it a hundred percent?"

"Nothing is a hundred percent." Laney says back.

"I can't lose my brother again especially if it's permanent."

"It's going to be fine Sam." She assures me.

Getting the consecrated elder wood isn't as easy as we thought since the guy has tripled the price and I'm on the verge of beating him senseless and just taking it but Laney tells me to go back to the room and get her bag she doesn't want to leave afraid that the guy will bolt.

I go reluctantly.

It's not a long drive so I'll only be gone a few minutes and Laney is armed. I get to the motel and just about to open the door when I see motion through the window Dean is making love to Beau.

My mouth drops at the intensity of their passion and I should turn away I really should but I can't especially when Dean's fangs extend and sink into her neck.

I know my mouth falls open and it's not repulsive in any way, shape, or form. I realize that I'm hard as a rock witnessing this.

I have to grab the wall to stay upright when Dean's blazing eyes catch me standing there; he pulls back and smiles wickedly at me.

Things just got hotter.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	9. WITH YOU BY MY SIDE

WITH YOU BY MY SIDE

I don't know what's going to happen with this ritual, if it works our lives continue as humans if it fails we die.

Laney didn't say that but I knew from looking in her eyes, we don't get to say oh well and skip away still vampires.

I don't want to tell Beau this and I don't think Sam quite understood what I was trying to tell him when I told that if this thing failed that it wasn't his fault.

He and Laney leave so I want to make love to Beau because it may be over forever.

Feeling her close touching her everywhere pushing into her and I'm pumping hard and needy into her wanting to feel everything and hear everything.

If I were ever to write a book it would be a best seller I'm sure and very, very long. Just the crap that happened to me before I turned twenty would be about hundred chapters so I guess a series would be in order one for every hunt. There you go my retirement is planned.

The intense heat of passion rips me back to Beau, the way she's moving and sounding has me euphorically high and I feel my fangs extend. I sink into her neck and she cries out.

It's intense as always pure sexual adrenaline pushing and pulling ecstasy filling from top to bottom and then I see Sam watching from the window and what I thought couldn't possibly get more intense does.

I pull back my fangs and smile at Sam I don't feel ashamed or shy just so full of lust and I want to see my brother come undone without being touched and now that he knows that I've seen him he moves closer to the window like he absolutely has to be there.

I slam into Beau so that she arches and cries out and I watch Sam closely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Porno has nothing on what I'm seeing and hearing right now. If pornos were like this even I would become addicted to them and that is saying a lot.

The way Dean moves with Beau is pure sexual decadence and I feel the tight heat building up inside of me without a single touch.

Just watching my brother making Beau come apart makes my stomach roll at the slight ping of jealousy that I feel and that is never going to come off right, he's my brother for the love of God.

Yet my eyes are glued to what he's doing and I think I'm beginning to get why women always threw themselves at him, they could probably sense that Dean was not no ordinary lay.

My mouth drops open as he slips out of Beau and turns her over and keeping her as covered as he can he pushes back into her his eyes still locked on mine. He is really slamming into her and she's not being quite about it and neither is he for that matter.

My balls are so fucking tight and just the slightest friction is going to push me over the edge and somewhere in the back of my mind a thought flutters that I'm standing outside of a motel room in broad daylight about to shoot a load in my pants.

I watch as Dean wraps one of his hands around a board of the slotted headboard and I can tell he's close to the brink.

I feel a sense of shame and regret that I feel that my brother looks absolutely beautiful at this moment but that doesn't last long how can it when my brain is presently mush.

He pushed into Beau his body in fluent motion and his eyes flutter his mouth open in ecstasy and I watch stunned as he breaks the headboard with his hand when he starts to come undone. He lifts his other hand as if he's reaching for me and he mouths my name.

I'm done and the most intense orgasm that I could possibly image without a single touch tears through me and I have to hold onto the wall to stay upright but my eyes do not leave Deans as we both ride out complete euphoric bliss.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's a sense of 'what the hell are we doing' that nibbles at my conscious for just a second before my brain and every other part of me gives into lust.

The afterwards is going to be even more awkward than this morning but you can't just stop something that feels so fucking good in and every sense of the word.

I'm beyond turned on that little brother is watching me make Beau fall apart and when I turn her over it's a whole new level of heat.

I pound into her making her crazy with need and I'm right there with her feeling the coming climax building higher and higher until it explodes and I find myself breaking the headboard and reaching for Sam and saying his name.

I see the instant he loses it and Sam looks beautiful at that moment of release. It's a whole new level of pleasure that rips through me.

Our eyes locked on each other's we ride out the bliss but then I see Sam turn to look behind him, we have company so Beau and I rush into the bathroom to clean up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am just coming down from the high when I hear a vehicle coming up behind me and I turn to look surprised to find Bobby pulling up with Laney and a truck full of consecrated elder wood.

I know that I am beet red and I'm praying that I can get in the room before my moment of weakness shows through my jeans.

Laney jumps from the truck grinning. "I don't need my bag after all, Bobby worked a great deal."

Bobby smirks that 'I kicked him where it hurts' smirk.

Everything is coming together and I should be thrilled but no matter what the fact remains that I'm going to be burning my brother and his girlfriend alive.

Why can't rituals or spells ever be as easy as just drinking a glass of wine?

It's happening and God help us all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

We are sitting eating dinner at a diner before heading out to a closed camping ground with cabins where we can do the ritual.

Everyone is going over last minute details and Sam and I haven't said much to each other.

Beau is sitting quietly holding my hand nibbling on fries even though we really don't have to eat normal food anymore. I guess it's comforting to her somehow.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam suddenly asks.

"Yes." Beau answers.

I nod because although immortality is an interesting concept it's nor for us. Our lives have been hard enough to where one day we actually hope to obtain peace.

We head out to the grounds and Sam, Bobby, and Laney set up the tier of wood and we sit and wait till midnight.

I do my best to sooth Beau and I find Sam staring at us.

"We'll be ok" I tell him.

I've been around my brother long enough to practically read his mind and I know right now he's thinking that if this doesn't work his last memory of us is going to be of something unnatural between brothers.

I squeeze Beau's hand to let her know I'm going to talk to Sam and she nods.

I pull my little brother aside and I don't get to say a word he just throws his arms around me. I hug him back hard and everything passes between us unsaid.

'It's going to be fine Sammy. I love you don't worry I'm always here for you.'

"Don't you dare leave me again, I love you and I need you.'

We pull back look in each other's eyes and just know as long as we have each other the world is golden.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

My hands are shaking badly as I tie Dean and Beau to the wood.

Beau is terrified and Dean looks as this happens every day for him.

We nod at each other and I step out of the tier.

Bobby pours the oil and recites in Latin as Laney tosses in one ingredient after another and I throw the match which instantly catches and the blaze rises high very fast.

The last ingredient is the blood and it makes the flames turn red and smoke up hard.

We step back to avoid the smoke and wait.

Everything seems fine so far until Beau begins to scream and Dean is yelling at me to stop that it's not working that their really burning and I start to run to help them but Bobby pulls me back.

I'm going to lose my mind hearing my brother screaming 'Sammy' and I just stand there and let them burn.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	10. FROM THE FIRE

FROM THE FIRE

I knew that it was going to be agonizing pain like I haven't been there and done that more often than I care to admit. The pain combined with Beau's screams is over whelming and apparently Laney failed to mention the hallucinations, at least I hope their hallucinations.

Beau is screaming at whatever to stay away from her and I'm blinking really hard because I'm suddenly hanging on meat hooks facing Alastair and I'm calling to Sam.

At this very moment I feel so confused because he's laughing telling me that I never left hell that I've been there in hell for this entire time that I thought I was still with Sam and I'm scared fucking terrified that it's true.

I can't see Beau or hear her anymore and my heart is racing and I feel something slicing into my abdomen, I grit my teeth for as long as I can but it's beyond unbearable and I'm screaming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

By now I'm on my knees listening to blood curdling screams and I can't believe that just hours before my brother and Beau had been so completely happy, well as happy as they could considering.

"Sam if it wasn't working they would be dead already." Bobby tries to comfort me but I see the fear in his eyes and the slight tremble in his hands.

Laney is frowning as she stares at the fire. "Something is different." She murmurs.

"What.?" I yell.

"Who's Alastair?" She asks me.

My blood freezes at the same time that I hear Dean yelling for Alastair to stay the hell away from me that he can't have me.

Leave it to Dean to protect me in every environment even being burned.

I'm so on edge I actually wonder if Alastair is in there with him.

"What's happening?"

"They must be hallucinating, didn't you Laney?" Bobby asks.

"No but I was alone and I think mixing two vamp bloods is causing it."

Bobby nods as if it makes sense to him. "Why should it surprise me anything Dean gets his ass into can never be not be complicated."

I hear Dean's screams of agony and then he's whimpering and it kills me, Dean doesn't' do whimpering.

Whatever he's seeing a feeling is making him believe that he never left hell and I know how that would terrify Dean, suddenly having to face that everything you have been living never happened just a sick twisted hell game.

I don't know if he can hear me or if he does if he'll even hear what I mean and it not be twisted into something hurtful but I tell him it's not real to fight it because if anyone can fight hell it's Dean.

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There is fire all around me and I'm hurting so much I just want it to stop, I need to find Sam I need to make sure that he is alright.

I hear his voice far away and I can't make out what he's saying but I hear the word fight and I do.

I break free of one hell and step right into another version, this one even more painful because I'm watching the day Sam died in my arms all over again. I see everything that happened that day in vivid living color and it breaks me just like it did the first time.

I'm sobbing desperate to save my brother again. Maybe I really never have left hell and Beau was just a sadistic way of making me believe that I had escaped.

No Sam no Beau then there is no me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The heart wrenching sobs that I hear now make my own tears flow, the sounds so full of pain and desperation, I hear Bobby muttering to himself about not again and I stare at him.

"He's reliving Cold Oak." He explains.

Fuck that is one of the hardest times for Dean having me die in his arms and then making the deal to bring me back.

That everyone could be blessed to have a brother as heroic and unselfish as mine. The sacrifices that he has made for me, I can't begin to count. I owe him so much.

We've been told more than once that our relationship is unhealthy and way to codependent for two brothers.

We don't see it that way, to depend on someone that is there for you no matter what, even when it meant going to hell, please tell me how that's a bad thing.

Dean is everything to me and I hope he knows that now more than ever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I've stepping into another hell now this one I wasn't part of when it happened because I'm sure it did, my dad in hell being tortured and not breaking the way that I did.

He's looking at me with so much disappointment in his eyes that might as well be punches to my gut.

"I suffered hell for you and for what?" He hisses at me. "So that you could fuck everything up let your brother suffer and nearly end the world more than once."

"I saved the world more than once and I'm always there for Sam." I defend weakly.

"Getting turned for some bitch is being there for your brother? All you had to do was kill her and everything would have been fine but instead you chose her over your brother."

He has me there but I was still there for Sam no matter what.

I forgot though I was never supposed to have a life of my own.

"I should have just let you die."

"Yeah you should have." I say back. "Then you could have let Sam stay dead after Cold Oak and we'd still be together and you'd still be in hell." That comes out of me so harsh.

I'm suddenly bound to a rack and my dad is hovering over me. "I came off the rack just for this Dean just to show you what real pain is."

This can't be happening, I want to wake up now but instead I'm screaming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean's screams grow even more frantic and I'm pacing pulling on my hair. This is taking too long and it's driving me crazy.

I hear my brother pleading then angry and I think he's seeing dad and for Dean that had to be horrible. Dean blamed himself for the longest time for dad's death but then he realized that our lives were turned upside down forever because of our dad. He had made Dean grow up way too fast and he didn't deserve that, Dean deserved a normal life and the closest he had ever come was Beau and still here he is in a fire because of the supernatural we have faced our entire lives.

He's not alone, he needs to remember that he is never alone so I stand close to the fire and I begin to talk to him as if all this was so normal.

The screams stop and nearly jump out of my skin when I see Dean staring at me through the flames his eyes eerily red making him look rather evil.

He's not tied down anymore that's for sure but at the moment he's not Dean either.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam is talking to me but I can't see him only this version of my dad causing me unbelievable pain.

He tells me that I get to watch him do the same to Beau and I scream louder but he only laughs.

Then Sam's voice is there in that soothing 'I'm here to help you' tone and he's telling me that I'm not alone that he's waiting for me and he's always going to wait for me because I'm his big brother and he loves me.

I don't feel anything that my dad is doing to me now and I get up to face him. "I have Sam and you are not real."

He vanishes in the next second and I'm standing at the edge of the fire staring at Sam but I feel different and I still have to get Beau.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's suddenly very quiet except for the crackling of the fire and it's finally looking as it's dying down.

Bobby and Laney are getting ready with blankets and water for Dean and Beau and my heart is racing.

Everything starts to fall in crumbling into ashes and embers and I can see Dean and Beau on the ground and he is curled protectively around her but even from where I am I can tell they are not breathing.

Part of me is terrified but my senses tell me they were inside a fire for hours and they are not burned and their clothes are barely singed.

They are ok after all this they have to be ok and I'm crying as Laney gives the ok to go.

I reach Dean kneeling beside him and pull him gently onto his back. He rolls lifeless and Beau is just as still.

I lift my brother up memories crashing through me of another time my brother lay dead in my arms.

I stare at him felling dire panic that I just took part in killing by brother and I can't breathe.

TBC

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Thanks for reading!


	11. A WINCHESTER ENDING

A WINCHESTER ENDING

I guess I started hyperventilating because Bobby slaps me a good one making me breathe normal again.

He's mumbling about how he can't believe that Dean and I have faced the devil and angels the fucking end of the world without a blink but losing each other turns us into blithering idiots.

I had never thought of it that way and I almost laugh. The list of things Dean and I have seen and done makes me wonder how we're not in nice little padded cells but we just keep on going but put one of us in danger and the other is stark raving mess.

So call me insane that I would rather fight demons and monsters on any given day than to face my brother's death.

My brother is everything and that's that.

We get Dean and Beau to one of the cabins, Laney says this is all normal that now we just have to wait for them to wake up.

I haven't done that a couple of thousand times in my life so of course I torture myself by going over every single one of them as I watch my brother lie there lifeless.

I eat only because I don't want to look all stressed out when Dean wakes up and doze in moments.

Beau wakes first and I finally feel hopeful as she takes a long breath and she says she feels normal no urge to feed on human blood. She does though want real food and lots of it she feels starved and thirsty.

Dean though still doesn't move and another day slides by.

I see Bobby and Laney murmuring to each other as they stare at Dean and I don't like the looks on their faces.

Another day is gone and I'm about to climb walls.

Bobby looks morose as he says. "Sam we have to face the fact that the ritual might have only worked on Beau."

"But we doubled it for two and he would have burned." I argue.

"He should be awake already." Laney says softly.

'We're waiting longer." I scream.

And we do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Three days with Beau a weeping mess and two others telling me that I need to let go I flip out.

I grab Dean's shirt and lift him up shaking him. "This is not how Dean Winchester is supposed to go out you hear me, he's supposed to go out in a blaze of glory die a fucking hero not in his sleep!"

A small gasp of air escapes Dean's mouth and his brows furrow slightly. Why hadn't I done this earlier?

He's there he's alive just not waking up but it's all the proof I need and Bobby and Laney sigh.

Beau is calmer and Bobby is staring at me with that 'I should know better by now' look.

You have a better chance of convincing me to marry Bigfoot than to give up on Dean and he's the exact same way with me maybe even worse.

That is who we are, who we will always be and I wouldn't have it any other way.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I feel as if I'm walking through a bog and opening my eyes is impossible for the longest time even though I hear my brother calling to me and I hear other voices as well.

I need to open my eyes I don't like Sam being upset and I can't remember what happened, why I'm like this but Sam needs me and I fight harder.

I feel Sam shaking me hard and he's yelling at me so I fight even harder.

I have no idea how long it takes but I finally push my eyes open and there he is my little brother my biggest reason for still being alive.

I see Bobby and two women who I have no idea who they are but the way I feel when I see the pretty brunette makes me sure I know her somehow.

There is something in her eyes that makes me feel cared for but why don't I remember her

"What happened?" I managed to ask in a croak.

"It worked Dean you and Beau are back to normal but of course you can never do things the normal way."

"What worked?" I'm really confused and feeling thirty kinds of crappy.

Sam stares at me and looks at one of the woman.

The other woman looks upset and walks outside and I just want to close my eyes again.

The only reason that I don't is because the look of worry on Sam's face isn't sitting well with me and I want to…no I need to know why.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I am confused as all hell, Dean remembers me and he remembers Bobby but not Beau or Laney or why we are together in the first place.

Beau is upset but not as upset as I would expect of her and apparently she had forgotten what I do for a living and think that I don't notice the slight nod that Laney gives to Beau. I let it go because I want to get Dean better.

"Don't worry Beau he's got a hard head and he'll remember you." I say to her gaging her reaction.

"Maybe it's better if he doesn't." She says brokenly a tear slipping from her eye and she hugs herself as if she's so cold.

"I'm tired Sammy." Dean yawns tiredly.

"Get some rest bro I'm right here." I promise.

He's gone in seconds breathing in his own version of peaceful slumber.

Moments later Beau is sitting beside him making sure that he's covered and warm; she kisses him gently on the forehead and on the lips saying something I can't hear and then she curls up beside him and falls asleep.

I grill Laney about what has happened and she tells me that no part of this ritual has been normal so she has no idea how to fix it.

I take her for her word and I'm so tired it finally drags me down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I wake up to find Dean still asleep but no sign of Beau of Laney.

I try to call Beau but her number is no longer in service and when I call Laney she answers. "Please don't be mad at me Sam but I saw how important your brother is to you so I had to help her."

"Help her do what?" I ask.

"She thinks it would be easier for Dean to just forget she ever existed so that he could move on with his life with no regrets, no sorrows."

"I don't understand." I whisper.

"She had her reasons Sam I didn't pry but I could see how much she loved Dean and wanted to protect him."

"Protect him from what?"

"She didn't go into detail Sam but it had to be big for her to want him to forget her."

"That's why he had hallucinations and why it took him longer to wake up."

"I'm sorry Sam I hope that doesn't change things between us, I really like you and I want to see you again."

I sigh hard. "Keep in touch Laney." I say and hang up.

I should leave it alone, respect Beau's wishes but I can't do it. Dean doesn't deserve to lose the only women he has ever loved heart and soul without a memory of the intensity of such love.

He looks like regular Dean when he wakes up again and by that I mean the Dean before he met Beau, the one who is ready to go head first into a hunt and worry about the consequences later.

Maybe it is better that he goes on like this but there is one problem I remember Beau and I remember how happy Dean was with her.

Now I have the brother back that believes that will never happen for him, the brother who drinks and stares at the wall for hours thinking about what will never be his.

I know Beau has to be hurting too because she adored Dean wanted nothing but to see him happy and safe but I need answers for Dean's sake I need the truth.

Of course with Dean on full on hunter mode again it's not long before he is hurt badly enough to need to stay at Bobby's for a few days.

Another headstone another set of cracked ribs and probably a concussion.

I watch him mutter fitfully in his sleep; Bobby had snuck him the good stuff so he's going to be out of it for a few days so I leave him in Bobby's hands so that I can get the answers that I need.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm staring at the ocean and missing the strong arms that held me and kept me safe for so long and begin to cry.

I miss Dean and I will always love him and as much as I wish that I could have erased him from my memories it's not possible now, because I have to keep him safe.

I know that some days are going to be unbearable and I'm going to want to run to him throw myself at him and make him remember me again with nothing but my kisses but I have to be strong for all of our sakes.

Dean taught me well and I covered my tracks and I'm no longer Isabeau Tharoe I am now Arandi Remington a name that came to me out of nowhere.

I'm sure that we are safe at least for now.

I forget though that Dean taught Sam too and Sam has been living the hunter's life way longer than I ever have or will so I shouldn't be surprised to hear his voice behind me on this beach far from where I came from and way away from where I left them behind.

I sigh and know if he's here Dean probably is too and I don't think that I can handle seeing him.

"Why did you do this?" Sam asks softly.

Tears stream from my eyes and I try to figure out what to say.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean taught her well, she has covered her tracks like a pro and I almost miss it but hey Dean taught me too and I've been playing this game way too long.

She changed her name and I might have missed it completely except she chose her last name to be the name of a gun just like ours and that was her mistake.

It takes me awhile to find her but I do far from where we last saw each other, far from where this all began.

I'm not at all surprised to find her on the beach staring at the waves hugging herself probably missing the arms that were always there to comfort her and keep her as safe as possible.

But even here she is a million miles away.

"Why did you do this?" I ask.

She doesn't look at me but I see the tears streaming down her face and I know that she probably thinks that Dean is near.

"He's not here, he's at Bobby's." I tell her.

She turns her head quickly. "Is he hurt?" She asks worriedly.

"Yeah he's hurt but he's going to be ok."

She sighs in relief turning back to the water. "I'm sorry Sam but I had to leave, had to get him to forget for his own good."

"How is forgetting the love of his life for his own good?" I raise by voice.

"There is no way that you'll understand."

"Make me understand, make me see why I shouldn't find a way to make my brother remember everything so that I can see life in his eyes again and erase that fucking empty pit that kills him slowly every fucking day."

"It's better this way Sam just trust me."

"I want to but I have to think of Dean."

"I am thinking of Dean, this is the only way to keep him sane and safe."

"Sane?" I ask in surprise.

"Sam you of all people know Dean better than anyone and how far he will go to protect his family."

"Yeah I do know that but if you want me to back you up Be…..I mean Arandi I need the whole story because take this how you will Dean is my first and foremost priority."

She stares at the water and I know she's debating on how much to reveal to me.

"Maybe we should let Dean decide then." I threaten.

"I'm pregnant!" She shouts at me.

"That's it you're running away because you're pregnant, are you kidding, do you know how much Dean wants to be a dad?" I feel thrilled for my brother picturing his reaction to know that he will be dad finally.

"I know how much he wants to be dad Sam we talked about it often." She says sadly.

"This is probably the one thing that will get him to stop hunting." I say excitedly.

"No it won't." She whispers hugging herself tight. "It will destroy him and I can't face doing that to him."

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused reaching for her to make her look at me.

She instinctively covers her belly protectively. "Sam I became pregnant while we were still vampires." She sobs and I get it everything slides into place loudly and my heart races.

She's right this would destroy Dean raised a hunter and knowing nothing else his entire life, how would he face fathering a could be monster and maybe having to kill his own child.

I pull Arandi into my arms as she sobs uncontrollably and I cry feeling the sorrow of the so unfair world that we live in and having to face lying to my brother for the rest of our lives though I swore I would never do such a thing again.

I love my brother and I need him safe. I am at a loss on what I should do.

My phone sounds then I reach for it trying to control my voice when I see Dean's name on my caller ID. "Hey bro you alright?"

"Sammy where are you?" He asks tiredly.

"Didn't Bobby tell you?"

"Yeah but you never leave me when I'm hurt." He sighs and I can hear the pain even over the phone.

"I think you're spoiled." I try to joke.

"Sammy everything ok?"

"No Dean it's not." I answer honestly.

Arandi looks me in the eyes pleading.

"Nothing a kiss and hug won't cure." I say.

Dean chuckles softly. "And I'm the spoiled one."

"I'll see you soon bro get some rest before Bobby goes momma bear on you."

"Too late." Dean groans and the line goes dead.  
I stare at Arandi and two different scenarios speed through my head.

I love my brother; will die for him without regret and I will protect him to no end.

Either side of this life will bring Dean pain that he doesn't deserve and I'm lost so fucking completely lost.

Somebody please help me.

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Not all stories can have happy endings and this is where I wanted to end this one. I have no idea whether or not to do a part three.

Thanks for reading!


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